I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
