i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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