I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
