Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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