Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
