So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
