I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
