god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
