GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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