so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
