it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
