She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
