bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
