I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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