I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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