I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
