I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
