Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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