I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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