you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You ate ashes out of my bong
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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