I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
