Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
