"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
