She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
