i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
