He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
