everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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