i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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