I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If that was your dad, he is hot
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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