): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it's like iHOP with fire
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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