why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
