Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
