Sacagawea was the original milf.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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