Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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