FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
