my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
