His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
