Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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