What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
