Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
