nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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