It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize