He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
