Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
