cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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