She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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