im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
