Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
