I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
