Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
