Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
