I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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