Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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